____________ (first, last)

It's been a while. I guess I neglected others for the sake of writing, but this time I did the opposite. I am sadly content. I had it all a few days ago, but it was stripped from me unceremoniously. Every time something good happens, it vanishes before I have the time to enjoy it. I need someone. I NEED someone. I need you. Too bad you're life is already too complicated without me. It's a shame you couldn't express yourself to me adequately. Oh well, you only ignored me for a few days. It's not good enough, but you are. That's why I keep crawling back. Why I continue to forgive you in my mind. I know I'm not much, but at least I'm here and trying.

Andy

It's surprising how different something can be when you slow it down. It changes the feeling. It opens your eyes. It digs deeper. Recently I have opted out of all of this fast pace rubbish and lieu of some slow and meaningful beauty. For me, this works. Well, for now at least. Thank you Andy.

Rain

Go ahead. Stab me in the back. Tease me. I will honestly fall for anything. So please, tell me lies and build me up because you obviously don't think I'm worth much at all. As for me, I'll still remain the gullible and naive person you once knew when my thoughts weren't entirely intact. Besides, as far as you know, I'll be gone in a year and you wont ever see me again.

I fear I am becoming something to great to reason with.

A Very Special Night For No Apparent Reason

I know it's been a while, but I'm starting a new. I am "revisiting" old pleasures and revamping my delicate residual feelings. It seems everyday brings a new hope that someday, I will forever be different. Maybe I'm just saying this because it's a new year. Fuck it. I said it because it's true.

More and more I find the irony of situations. How this world seems to fall in place oh so perfectly wither it be for the better or the worse. With the cold I feel invigorated. I am seeing as an onlooker and not a participant. I'm not sure if I like this or not, but it is new and I'm content with change. It seems that just yesterday I was in dire need of the people around me, and yet, today I am content with this soloist lifestyle. All I need are those who want so dearly to be with me to follow. I would rather not stoop low enough to be a follower, granted we need a few of them. I jsut would rather not be counted amongst their numbers. Be a black sheep, and don't stop there.

A good friend once told me that white wine was the only good wine. I think I would rather have limited knowedge of both red and white than a connoisseur in just one (I admitted to only caring for red, by the way.) Alright, do us part. Just me and my classics, only thing to do now is to read.